Sometimes finding yourself takes reminding yourself of the negativity that you need to let go of. Lately I've felt overly conflicted about letting go of certain memories and people. I am a person that feels deeply about everything. I've always considered it to be one of my greatest strengths and weaknesses. Last night, I was faced with a moment of weakness where I was unprepared to visit a topic that would either shatter or mend my heart....I'll let you guess what route the conversation took.
As I sat there, tears filled my eyes, my heart began to ache, and I began to question everything running through my head. I began to pray for help; I needed to feel that what was happening at that point in time, was truly meant to be. As I fell asleep, I second guessed my journey. I second guessed almost every major decision that I had made over the course of the past 6 months. I second guessed myself, and I shouldn't have.
This morning I woke up still slightly broken. My eyes still sting from last nights tears, and my heart still aches from the reality that I am to face in the months to come, but I'll be ok. Though I don't understand everything that is happening in my life, and I don't agree with the conflict that I feel in my heart, I have to believe that I'm going through this for a reason. I have to believe that I am meant for greater things; for that defining moment that makes me realize that my heart was meant to break so many times because at some point, some day... it'd all make sense.
I'll never regret going through any situation. I know that every good and horrific event that I have experienced was meant to shape the woman that I am; but I am human, and sometimes I wish it didn't hurt so damn much.
Today I choose to let go. I choose to hold on to the memories that fill me with warmth, but release the feelings and negativity that disrupts my life. I deserve to be at peace... but its going to be a long road to find that contentment, to let go of the memories that pain me, and wake up everyday knowing that I am on the right path...
Here is to letting go, and finding myself.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
Monday, July 27, 2015
what side of the dirt will you choose to be on?
Its funny how you can step away from something for so long and one day, the desire to go back to it flips like a switch. With me, that is how my love for writing goes. I used to only write about the moments that I felt sadness... It was my outlet. Then one day, I decided that I didn't want to be that person who only told their sob stories.. I want to write about the things that made my heart patter... the things that made me feel alive; that is where this blog came from.
It didn't take long for that desire to fade. Things quickly change, and life gets busy. I became too busy to pour my heart onto sheets of paper, and in that time of chaos, I lost sight of the person that I was striving to become.. even though I still don't know who that person is.
Over the past year, I have been on a journey; a journey to not just find myself, but to truly look deep within myself to feel what makes me happy. Each day is a new feeling. Each day is something different. Some days I wake up missing the person that used to warm the other side of the bed; other days I wake up grateful for my independence. I think a piece of me will always miss that; I will always long for the bond that I shared with that person. However, no one can say for sure what the future holds.
Today I woke up grateful to be alive. I woke up thinking about a saying that was shared with me recently, "any day on this side of the dirt, is a good day". I've loved that since I heard it because it brings to light the simplicity of its meaning. Sometimes we get so caught up in the chaos going on around us, that we forget how lucky we are to be in the midst of this chaos.
I've learned to be grateful for my struggles, because I'm alive and able to make mistakes and learn from them. I'm here on this earth, in this life, to learn all that I can, and to shed light and love into the live's of others. I"m not perfect, I've never expected to be. I've always just wanted to be happy and loved; and I've learned that I am blessed to feel both so deeply.
Today is a good day, tomorrow will be what I make it.
It didn't take long for that desire to fade. Things quickly change, and life gets busy. I became too busy to pour my heart onto sheets of paper, and in that time of chaos, I lost sight of the person that I was striving to become.. even though I still don't know who that person is.
Over the past year, I have been on a journey; a journey to not just find myself, but to truly look deep within myself to feel what makes me happy. Each day is a new feeling. Each day is something different. Some days I wake up missing the person that used to warm the other side of the bed; other days I wake up grateful for my independence. I think a piece of me will always miss that; I will always long for the bond that I shared with that person. However, no one can say for sure what the future holds.
Today I woke up grateful to be alive. I woke up thinking about a saying that was shared with me recently, "any day on this side of the dirt, is a good day". I've loved that since I heard it because it brings to light the simplicity of its meaning. Sometimes we get so caught up in the chaos going on around us, that we forget how lucky we are to be in the midst of this chaos.
I've learned to be grateful for my struggles, because I'm alive and able to make mistakes and learn from them. I'm here on this earth, in this life, to learn all that I can, and to shed light and love into the live's of others. I"m not perfect, I've never expected to be. I've always just wanted to be happy and loved; and I've learned that I am blessed to feel both so deeply.
Today is a good day, tomorrow will be what I make it.
Thursday, August 7, 2014
What the world needs now... is LOVE ... sweet LOVE.....
Its been tough for me to figure out exactly what I want to blog about this week. There is so much going on in this crazy thing called "life".... So many things to be frustrated about, but also so many wonderful things to be thankful for. It wasn't until today that I finally felt like I knew what I needed to share with others.
When I woke up today the first thing that crossed my mind was my Mr. Right. I love rolling over to see his handsome face. Even during hardships, I thank my lucky stars to have him in my life. He is my best friend and the one person that I wish to share my life with in this life, and in all of the rest to come.
I am a firm believer in the laws of attraction. I feel that the energy I put in to this world, I will get back. I also believe that my soul purpose of life on this earth is to love others.... Maybe that is why I am such a hopeless romantic. I am fueled by love, romance, passion, and those magical moments that make your heart skip a beat. I have always had a special place in my heart for romance novels, black and white films, Lifetime :), Hallmark, and Disney movies (specifically Beauty and the Beast). I like believing... or feeling that love can change the world.
However, no matter how much this dreamer loves Love and believes in the good in things... life catches up and slaps me in the face from time to time. It is in those moments that I value finding little gems that seem to be exactly what I need to put that pep back in my step. Its funny how that works. Messages from God, intuition, laws of attraction... Call them what you want, but those messages give me faith in myself... to know that I am following the path that is meant for me.
The gem that I came across this morning can be viewed if you click here (Piece of advice #7 is my favorite). Its somewhat of a long read, but its definitely worth it. The article is geared towards advice for men, but I chose to look at it for both partners. Relationships take two... Its important for you to do what you can to make each other feel special. Its important for both parties to give the same percentage of themselves because if one is giving more, than there is no balance. Regardless of the reasoning behind viewing the article, just read it. Whether you are in a rocky relationship, or one that is considered perfect.... there is nothing wrong with finding ways to show someone that you love them, and that you care.
The feeling of love changes people. We are kinder to one another, more giving, happier, and better communicators when we feel loved. We are more receptive to those around us. I know for me, showing love to others helps me find myself. It helps me to love myself more. I am a happier person when I do my part to bring love and happiness to the lives' of others. That's why today the importance of my never ending journey is to love more... To love others, and to love myself.
Life isn't perfect, but love gets us through the hard times... and makes the good time so much sweeter.
Love yourself, the life you live, and those in it.
When I woke up today the first thing that crossed my mind was my Mr. Right. I love rolling over to see his handsome face. Even during hardships, I thank my lucky stars to have him in my life. He is my best friend and the one person that I wish to share my life with in this life, and in all of the rest to come.
I am a firm believer in the laws of attraction. I feel that the energy I put in to this world, I will get back. I also believe that my soul purpose of life on this earth is to love others.... Maybe that is why I am such a hopeless romantic. I am fueled by love, romance, passion, and those magical moments that make your heart skip a beat. I have always had a special place in my heart for romance novels, black and white films, Lifetime :), Hallmark, and Disney movies (specifically Beauty and the Beast). I like believing... or feeling that love can change the world.
However, no matter how much this dreamer loves Love and believes in the good in things... life catches up and slaps me in the face from time to time. It is in those moments that I value finding little gems that seem to be exactly what I need to put that pep back in my step. Its funny how that works. Messages from God, intuition, laws of attraction... Call them what you want, but those messages give me faith in myself... to know that I am following the path that is meant for me.
The gem that I came across this morning can be viewed if you click here (Piece of advice #7 is my favorite). Its somewhat of a long read, but its definitely worth it. The article is geared towards advice for men, but I chose to look at it for both partners. Relationships take two... Its important for you to do what you can to make each other feel special. Its important for both parties to give the same percentage of themselves because if one is giving more, than there is no balance. Regardless of the reasoning behind viewing the article, just read it. Whether you are in a rocky relationship, or one that is considered perfect.... there is nothing wrong with finding ways to show someone that you love them, and that you care.
The feeling of love changes people. We are kinder to one another, more giving, happier, and better communicators when we feel loved. We are more receptive to those around us. I know for me, showing love to others helps me find myself. It helps me to love myself more. I am a happier person when I do my part to bring love and happiness to the lives' of others. That's why today the importance of my never ending journey is to love more... To love others, and to love myself.
Life isn't perfect, but love gets us through the hard times... and makes the good time so much sweeter.
Love yourself, the life you live, and those in it.
Wednesday, July 30, 2014
The Journey Starts Today
After searching for some time about the kind of things I wish to share on this page, it dawned on me. This blog was started to serve as the beginning of a journey; the journey of finding myself.
I believe that finding yourself is a journey that never ends. As humans we evolve constantly, which means that our motivation, drive, goals, passions, and personalities change as well. I guess its safe to say that when other's say to us "you aren't the same person that you used to be", its true.... We aren't. Whether its seen badly or not, that is up to them; and its up to you as to how to let their words effect you. We are never the same person that we were yesterday.
Life is about being happy, or at least striving to do the things that make you happy. Life is meant to be lived, to be filled with moments of joy and love. Life is about finding yourself, and changing the things about yourself that no longer serve you. Life is about letting go of the past that has scarred you, but keeping hold of the memories to remind you of the person that you are today. Life is messy, but if you change your perspective in moments of devastation, you'll notice that life is beautiful even in moments of chaos.
I've had my fair share of life shattering moments. At the age of 26, I have been through things that I wouldn't wish on others. In that same sense, I wouldn't change my past, because if I hadn't traveled that road, I wouldn't have the clarity on life that I do today.
Each day that I wake up I am in control of how my day will go. Today, I choose to have a good day. From here on out, I vow to change my attitude. I choose to rely less on others, love myself more, and thank the Heaven's above for all that I have. I choose to release love and positive energy into the universe around me, because through love and acts of kindness, the world around us changes. Choose to see it that way. Choose to change your day, and notice how the world around you changes with it.
Life is a never ending journey.
I believe that finding yourself is a journey that never ends. As humans we evolve constantly, which means that our motivation, drive, goals, passions, and personalities change as well. I guess its safe to say that when other's say to us "you aren't the same person that you used to be", its true.... We aren't. Whether its seen badly or not, that is up to them; and its up to you as to how to let their words effect you. We are never the same person that we were yesterday.
Life is about being happy, or at least striving to do the things that make you happy. Life is meant to be lived, to be filled with moments of joy and love. Life is about finding yourself, and changing the things about yourself that no longer serve you. Life is about letting go of the past that has scarred you, but keeping hold of the memories to remind you of the person that you are today. Life is messy, but if you change your perspective in moments of devastation, you'll notice that life is beautiful even in moments of chaos.
I've had my fair share of life shattering moments. At the age of 26, I have been through things that I wouldn't wish on others. In that same sense, I wouldn't change my past, because if I hadn't traveled that road, I wouldn't have the clarity on life that I do today.
Each day that I wake up I am in control of how my day will go. Today, I choose to have a good day. From here on out, I vow to change my attitude. I choose to rely less on others, love myself more, and thank the Heaven's above for all that I have. I choose to release love and positive energy into the universe around me, because through love and acts of kindness, the world around us changes. Choose to see it that way. Choose to change your day, and notice how the world around you changes with it.
Life is a never ending journey.
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